The Adventures of D, D, & D

I was informed by David, formerly of “David’s Corner”, that his post-graduate school career start date has been moved back from September to January.  When he told this to me he started with, “Guess who gets to spend more time together?”  Immediately, I was nervous and uncomfortable.

He then told me that I can be included in the Summer of D & D.  Apparently, he is one of the D’s and his fiancé, Dawn, is the other.  Adding me would make it D, D, & D.

Now, many of you may not know it, but for two weeks during our sophomore year of high school Dawn and I were quite the item.  You could find us walking the hallways together, standing next to each other during that one pep rally, and, you guessed it, making out at Denny’s.

So what will our summer involve?  Adventures.  We’re going to be like the Hardy Boys only with a chick and WAY more booze.  We’re still working out the details but I’m pretty sure I’ll be investing in a magnifying glass and some rope…20, maybe 25 feet.

Let the adventures of D, D, & D begin!

 

Voicemail

It is truly a sad day.  I have changed my voicemail greeting.  What was once the coolest, shortest voicemail greeting of all time is gone.  My new voicemail greeting is longer, more formal, and far less succinct.

It is truly bizarre for me to have had my last voicemail greeting be so short.  I am not a short-winded person by any means.  In fact, just last weekend McG’s father asked me, “Have you ever answered a question with one word?”  My response was, “Well that’s and interesting question John…”  He laughed.  I think he got it.

If any of you want to hear my new voicemail greeting and have my number…go for it.  I won’t answer my phone until Saturday.  You have two days.  Starting…now.

 

The 5:30 Time Slot

I never thought I’d be saying this…I miss Reno, Nevada.  Specifically, I miss Fox 11 Reno.  More specifically, I miss Fox 11 Reno’s 5-8 p.m. programming.  An hour of Seinfeld, an hour of The Simpsons, and an hour of Two and a Half Men…near perfection.  What does Fox 11 Chicago offer us?  TMZ.  Are you serious?  TMZ?  First off, why is this even a show?  It is terrible and worthless…kind of like David’s Corner.

If you like this show or know someone who does…send me the TMZ fan’s address and I will show up and do, whatever I need to do, to ensure these people can never, ever procreate.

One thing, however, that I DO NOT miss are the Mor (furniture for less) commercials.  Fuck that place.

 

Cool Dog

I fucking love this.  Sadly, this is the only ray of sunshine in my terrible, pathetic life.

 

Barack The Vote!

Mr. Obama just gave me a $25 a week unemployment raise AND will be paying for more than half of my COBRA insurance.  Yes!  I can finally ditch my bullshit temporary medical insurance, see a dentist, get new contact lenses, and maybe, just maybe get an MRI of my knee.  God bless America.

Stuck in my head…something for everyone…

“Rebellion” by The Arcade Fire

“Let Down” by Radiohead

“New York Minute” by Don Henley

“No You Girls” by Franz Ferdinand

“Cosmic Girl” by Jamiroquai

“Fidelity” by Regina Spektor...I got them same shoes

“Hold Me” by Fleetwood Mac…yes, it’s true, I really like Christine McVie

 

Black Eyed Peas

Aren’t we all done with these cholos?  I wish they would all just go away.  They think they're all so clever and hip...really chaps my ass.

 

A Special Greeting

Hey Randy.  You still reading this?  You still alive?  You ever think about returning an email?  Motherfucker.