Ruminations.... by Lunchbox

Guest post #2 - Lunchbox

Friday Night in GR

Friday night was going to be the night we were taking it easy this weekend, since we had two friends celebrating their birthdays the next day. I think we went by the Keith Richards definition of taking it easy because after consuming beverages in 8 different establishments, I was pretty bombed. The major highlight of the night had to have been when I learned my friend's last name. You would think that most people know their friends' last names, but when you have a friend that has a unique first name, sometimes that is all you hear. Well, I have a friend from Columbia that has a unique first name (cause it is Colombian), and I haven't heard him called anything else. Friday night, I found out that his last name was Escobar, and I was pretty impressed. I even made him show me his drivers license to prove it. He says it is a bad last name to have when traveling through customs. Dan asked if he is from Medillin, but his family is from Bogota.


Money Saving Thought #1

If the show 24 wanted to save some money during these economic hard times, they should base their next season on March 13th to March 14th 2010. That is the 2010 daylight savings time spring change. They could go right from the 1am episode to the 3am episode. If my calculations are correct that would save them over 4% of the total season costs.


Joke From Bruce #1

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'
The nun replied, 'He went that way.'
After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said' I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq ..'
The nun said, 'I understand completely.'
The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'
The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either.


Wedding Booze

If one were to set up an open bar, would he be missing anything important if he had the following:

Liquor:
Tanqueray
Stoli
Makers Mark
Jim Beam
Glenlivet
Crown Royal
Bacardi
Captain Morgan
Kahlua
Amaretto
Dry Vermouth
Sweet Vermouth

Beer:
Miller Lite
Budweiser
Heineken
Something Mirco and/or Seasonal (e.g. bells, dogfish head, etc...)

Wines:
TBD
Champagne for toast

Standard Mixers like Coke, Diet, Sprite, Tonic, Soda, Cran, Orange, half&half, Grenadine

Standard Garnishes like Olive, Lemon, Lime, Cherry


Speaking of Weddings...

If someone can get a midget wearing one of these for either the reception cocktail hour or the rehearsal dinner after party, I will be a happy man. Midget


Eating Challenge

Here is the next challenge. This one is local to the Grand Rapids area...In fact, Rockford, MI is the hometown of the woman that tried to use Craigslist to put a hit on a woman in California who was married to the man she was having an affair with. Finally one where they pick up the bill if I succeed. These eating challenges can get pricey.


Jokes from Bruce #2

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'
Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'
The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,
'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'
He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ...' he said with a deep sigh,. .. . .. . . .
'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'


As Seen on TV

I (or my fiance) currently own the following:
The Miracle Blade III
The Magic Bullet (food processor...not something used for booger sugar)
The Quick Chop (identical to the Slap Chop that the sham-wow guy is now pedaling)
The PedEgg (that is one the fiance owns)
The George Foreman Grill

I am due for something new from an infomercial. I think the Sam-wow seems sweet, was briefly interested in the Caulk Away, and I hear the Snuggie calling my name, though I think I'm going to wait on that till my birthday when I set up a snuggie bar crawl. Does anyone have suggestions on some other As Seen On TV product that I am not aware of and may be much sweeter than the ones I'm considering.


Thurmanator Update

From the time I weighed myself on Sunday when I got home from Columbus till Tuesday morning (36 hours), I lost 10 lbs. During that time, I did not work out and ate normally.


The Bachelorette

It sounds like one of my friends from GR that moved to Chicago a couple years ago is going to be on The Bachelorette. This guy is awesome / a total retard and I can't wait to see what shenanigans he pulls. My money is on him not getting a rose because he gets drunk and hooks up with either a maid or a female on the production crew. I don't want to put his whole name on here since I'm sure the show is doing their due diligence, but his name with last initial is Ed S. I recommend watching at least the first couple episodes this year. He is kind of like a Nick W / Mason M hybrid, for those of you who know who I'm talking about. The first time I met this guy, we went out drinking on a weeknight. We probably drank more shots than drinks. He had a presentation that he had to give the next day around 11am. He woke up in his bed at 10:30am. Obviously he panicked and tried to get ready as fast as possible, but there were a couple problems. He didn't know where his wallet was, he didn't know where his keys were, and he didn't know where his car was. It turned out that the car was at one bar and his keys and wallet were at another.


Indian Food

I really like Indian Food these days.


The Guinness Anniversary Dilemma

I know some of you have seen this because I wrote this a little over 3 years ago but the time has come where we need to celebrate, and I don't think anything has been resolved.

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Written 12/27/2005:

So today I was sitting at my desk, in my office, in my apartment, barefoot, looking at a Guinness bottle and realized that Guinness was started in 1759. That means that in just 3 years [2009] they are going to be celebrating their 250 anniversary. I started wondering what a 250th anniversary is called. We all know that 150 years is the sesquicentennial, but does bisesquicentennial work? I was unsure so I checked with my old friend Robert L. Fowler from the Department of Classical Studies of the University of Waterloo in Waterloo, Ont (that's in Canada).

According to professor Fowler: "There appears to be no single noun for 'two and a half' (duo et dimidium) and all the compounds in sesqui- yield the wrong result (sesquioctavus = 1 1/8, sesquitertius = 1 1/3 etc.); but since 'bicentennial' and 'sesquicentennial' (and indeed 'centennial') seem to be modern inventions anyway, it's open season for coinages. How about 'bisesquicentennial'? Instantly comprehensible (I think), and easy to pronounce and remember. I suppose 'sesquibicentennial' might be more defensible logically but it looks and sounds pedantic."

Apparently professor Fowler and I agree to disagree. The way I see it, both of his suggestions literally mean 300 years, and that is already taken by tercentennial or tricentennial (they are both correct). However you slice it, in three years we are going to need a word that describes the anniversary that Guinness will be celebrating. My thoughts right now are either demimillennial (1/4 of a thousand) or semiquincentennial (1/2 of 500). If any of you have expertise in this subject please reply with any suggestions. Let's not sit back and let The United States of America come up with a word in 20 years when it is the country's 250th anniversary. Let's beat them to the punch. Otherwise, we may just have to play linguistically stupid and use bisequicentennial when we know darn well that we are fooling no one.
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I'm actually surprised that we haven't seen any huge marketing campaign about Guinness' 250 year anniversary. Someone dropped the ball on that one.


New Kids On The Block

NKOTB will be in Grand Rapids next weekend. Unfortunately for some of the girls we hang out with, our friends are getting married on the same night. Here is a little reminder of what made this band fade off the face of the earth so quickly:

"You've Got It (The Right Stuff) By NKOTB1
"Step By Step" by NKOTB2