Jury Duty!!!

You know you’ve finally made it when you get summoned to jury duty.  Yes…I have finally made it.

I got the jury duty summons in the mail yesterday at my parents’ house.  The latter part of that sentence is the most interesting for me.  Why that address?  I don’t have a driver’s license at that address.  I haven’t voted using that registration in years.  I do have my car registered to that address.  Is that all it takes…a car registration?  Shit…I’m going to register a car in Hawaii…I could use a vacation.

I’ve heard over and over from many people that you don’t need to respond to a jury summons until they send you the red/orange warning in the mail.  Does this matter to me?  Nope.  I’m going.  Not only am I going, but I hope I get selected.  Hell, I hope the jury gets sequestered.  What the hell else do I have going on?  We all know the answer.

The main reason I want to go is because I feel that jury duty would be like the shortest possible reality show I could be on.  I can argue and argue with the other jurors and say whatever the hell I like and then be done with it all in a day or two…never seeing them again.

For years to come these people will be telling stories starting with, “So this son-of-a-bitch I’m on jury duty with…”

 

Sweaty Palms

I had a job interview yesterday and, yes, I was a little nervous.  What do I say?  How much do I explain things?  Are they going to ask me about my strengths?  Weaknesses?  I mean, first and second grade were easy, but multiplication, social studies…this is going to be tough.

Luckily, I was interviewed by a guy who likes to talk even more than I do.  I just sat there, nodded, dropped in a “sure” or an “I see” every few minutes and that was about it.  After about 45 minutes of talking, he stopped and asked, “Before we continue on…is this something you’d be interested in.”

Is this something I’d be interested in?  Is this something I’d be interested in?  Look buddy…I’m about 2 months of unemployment away from sucking dick to pay for car insurance…yeah, I think I’d be interested.

They’re going to get back to me.

 

Twang and Bang

One night at the Reno Rodeo - pause for laughs/comments - the announcer said "twang and bang".  Still not sure what he meant by that...but I liked it.

“You Never Even Call Me By My Name” by David Allen Coe

“Faraway Eyes” by the Rolling Stones

“A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper Is Crying” by The Bloodhound Gang

MDR circa 1985

MDR circa 2008