Let's Go to the Movies
The 1980s were an amazing time for American cinema. Elliott befriended a creature named ET, Maverick flipped off a Russian in an inverted 4G dive with a MiG, and a young man named Harkin Banks headed to Squaw Valley, California for the World Cup. Yes…I’m talking about Hot Dog…the Movie. A lot of you are probably thinking, “What the fuck is Hot Dog…the Movie?”…I’ll tell you what the fuck is Hot Dog…the Movie.
Hot Dog...the Movie is a tale of a young man from Idaho, Harkin Banks. This young man has a dream, a dream to conquer the world of skiing. Harkin leaves his sleepy Rocky Mountain town on a journey to Squaw Valley, California to participate in the World Cup...the proverbial cat's meow of skiing. Harkin knew he could ski...but he had no idea of what else was to come.
Along the way Harkin meets a young runaway named Sunny. As they travel west they learn of themselves, each other, and love. Their relationship culminates in the greatest side-boob scene in movie history. Overwhelmed by Harkin's shirtless rendition of "Dreamers on the Rise" - an awkwardly long scene in which he plays roughly 4 minutes of the song while laying on a bed at the shady Fantasy Inn hotel in South Lake Tahoe - Sunny pops off her cable-knit sweater and lunges at the naive Harkin. We never see a full-frontal of Sunny...but we do see about 8 unprecedented side-boob camera shots of her. Cinema magic.
Nevertheless, Harkin and Sunny meet the crew...a hodgepodge of characters, each with their own shtick. Squirrel, Slasher, Kendo "The Kamikaze" Yamamoto, and the rest of the crew all bring their own style and know-how to the film.
Oh yeah...I almost forgot...Shannon Tweed is in the movie. Her character, Sylvia Fonda, a run-of-the-mill tramp, stars in one of the greatest scenes in movie history...the sex/dance party scene...gold.
The movie culminates with the Chinese Downhill...one of the fiercest, most dangerous races in ski history in which the gang perseveres over the European antagonist, Rudy (he bangs Sunny)...fucking Nazis...things never change.
If you like the 1980s, movies, side-boob, wet t-shirt contests, musical montages, and you've never seen Hot Dog...the Movie, slap yourself in the face and hop on Amazon.com...well worth the $6.99. Kendo's stereotypical 80's Asian dance moves are worth it, alone.
Wine, Women, and Song
“Talk Dirty to Me” by Poison
“Self Control” by Laura Branigan
“Throwing it All Away” by Genesis
“Sowing the Seeds of Love" by Tears for Fears
“I’m on Fire” by Bruce Springsteen
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CSNY, SJBE
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh the 80s....
ReplyDeleteIf God could grant me one wish, I'd want to be a member of the Class of '86. DR, didn't we agree on that one night at Martinis?
Preppy Frat Boy: What are you looking at, Nerd?!
Booger: Oh, I thought you were my mother's douchebag, but that's back in Ohio.
The Jew
It was 1984.
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