“Every time a stripper earns a master’s degree, a Golden Girl dies.”
- DR, 2008
It has been a rough couple of days for me. As many of you know, Bea Arthur has passed away. I’m sure many of you also know that Bea was my favorite Golden Girl. In fact, this isn’t the first time I’ve brought her up on this blog.
From The Greatest Blog Post in the History of Mankind (March 12, 2009):
Thinking about pyramids brings up my favorite Golden Girls conversation of all time. Dorothy and Rose are trying to install a new toilet and are having some trouble…
Rose: If the Egyptians can build the pyramids, we can do this.
Dorothy: Fine, go get me 10,000 Jews and I’ll be right there.
Her impeccable timing and dry delivery made Dorothy Zbornak one of the greatest female characters of television and film history. Bea Arthur made Golden Girls what it was. It can be argued that without Bea Arthur, we would never have had Empty Nest. Frankly, I don’t want to live in a world without Empty Next.
Bea Arthur was more than just dry humor on a show full of geriatrics. She was hilarious on the Comedy Central roast of Pam Anderson a few years back. She also sang “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at a Cubs game during the Summer of Dan (2001)…I was there. We will all greatly miss Bea.
Beatrice “Bea” Arthur (May 13, 1922 – April 25, 2009)
Bea Arthur…you better be saving me a seat in hell…preferably near the bar.
Jesus of Nazareth
McG sent this to me. Fuck, people are stupid.
What have you been up to?
I graduated high school in 1999. It is now 2009. Can you guess what that means? High school reunion time baby!!! That’s right folks…believe it or not…I came from somewhere.
Of course, the only information about this event is on Facebook – a website I do not participate in – so I had to have David (formerly of David’s Corner) send me the info. I asked if he could just forward my info on and take care of it all for me…he did. Here is an abridged version of the email David sent:
Subject: On behalf of Dan R.
Date: Mon, 27 Apr 2009 10:23:39 -0500
Due to a case of cyberphobia, Dan R. is unable to provide information via e-mail on his own. As his legal guardian, I am authorized to provide this.
Will I attend? Not sure. My decision will be based largely on the venue and drink special. All I know is that if I do attend I will spend a great deal of time at the bar with David and will probably tell a ridiculous number of lies. I also expect to hear a number of mumbled phrases from the crowd, such as, “Fuck Dan R.” or “Ten years and he’s still an asshole.” This could be good…maybe even “voice recorder good”.
The Wood Makes It Good
Kenny Rogers is more than just a chicken man...and the basis of one of the greatest Seinfeld episodes of all time. He is an artist. A musician who has captured the hearts and panties of women from Chatanooga to Spokane and up to Bangor for over thirty years. I tip my hat to you Kenny. To you, your music, and your beard.
Posts
If David's Corner is available, I would like to recommend the following people for the job of "sidebar journalist":
ReplyDeleteGreg Roed*r
Lunchbox
Big Spender
If you are going to be recording conversations, why not just stay classy and use a talkboy?
ReplyDeleteDid you hear about that girl who hired at stripper to pose as her for her 10 year high school reunion? If any male can pull this off, it's you DR.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, have you watched to movie Hackers lately? It came on one of my 6 TV channels last night. If not, I recommend you add it to your NetFlix queue. It's like the future...everyone is on rollerblades or a skateboard and they all have cool nicknames.
It is still a hard time for all Americans and I still miss my baby girl.
JR
I feel completely cheated by the fact that I have had a lot of fried chicken in my life(not as much as lunchbox obviously) and never had my feet rubbed at the same time. I need to get that handled in a yesterday manner
ReplyDelete