I just went to church with my parents. I get so uncomfortable at church that I sweat like I'm going through airport security with coke taped under my balls…just a terrible experience.
I take part in the Catholic mass in my own special way…participating in some of the rituals, abstaining from most. I don’t kneel, I rarely speak, I never bow my head, and I always drink the wine.
Church is a strange place, not just because everyone is praying to a mythical “God”, but because of the people there. I’m fairly tall, but at church I might as well be Lew Alcindor…nothing but short people all around. Oh yeah…can’t forget the elderly and the ugly…they’re there too.
Today’s Jesus-fest was pretty short and uneventful. There was a kid, two rows in front of me, that would not sit still. If you’re old enough to walk, old enough to talk, and not hooked up to machines…you should be able to sit in one place for an hour. Fuck. This kid was moving around so much that all I wanted to do was smash his stupid face.
The only other highlight was from when we all turn to each other, shake hands, and say “peace be with you”. The high school girl behind me got a wink with her “peace be with you”. My mother saw it. I don’t think she was pleased.
Stories From Uncleville
I’ve been an uncle for about 3 weeks now and, frankly, I think I’m pretty good at it. Got the kid a card for Easter…check it out.
Hey Carla…look who learned origami. In your face Mexico! The $30 sailboat.
Why Joe Walsh? Why?
Why isn’t “A Life of Illusion” by Joe Walsh on iTunes? There are plenty of other Joe Walsh songs on there. There are plenty of covers of the song on there. Why Joe Walsh? Why?
Joe…if you’re reading this…please answer the question.
My Most Recent 5 Wikipedia Reads
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
My Saturday Music Downloads
“Glycerine” by Bush
“Ooh La La” by Faces
“It’s the End of the World As We Know It” by R.E.M.
“The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough” by Cyndi Lauper...a gullwing limo?
The Sands of Time
It has been exactly 4 months since my last day of work.
Today is the first day since December 25th that I have: tucked in my shirt, worn pants that aren’t made of denim or windbreaker.
Beisbol
Baseball season is here in full force. For all the immigrants out there, please use this map to find your allegiance.
Posts
My favorite hymn goes a little something like this:
ReplyDelete"I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, I want to feel his salvation all over my face."