I Love Iowa

Got drunk with Mason and Katie in Des Moines on Friday night.  We hit up the jukebox at the last bar we went to in an attempt to stop the bleeding…someone had played about 3 straight Journey songs…it needed to end.  As I started putting money in the machine, some girl came up to me and said, “Play some Journey.”  I then turned to her and said, “What is this…Dubuque, Iowa…1984?”  She then said to me in a confused manner, “I was born in Dubuque in 1984.”  Seriously…a Dan-centric world.

I chose a few songs including “These Dreams” by Heart.  The crowd was not pleased when it came on and then, all of a sudden, it was over and a big “SKIPPED” was displayed on the screen.  Fuck you bartender.  Fuck you crowd.  Fuck you Des Moines.

We ended up at a pizza place around midnight where Mason and I ordered Bacardi Silver Raz.  When the girl taking our order made a comment about it I stated, “It’s a gentlemen’s drink.  Michael Caine drinks them all the time.”  Of course, she had no idea who Michael Caine is.  The youth of America…where did we go wrong?

 

Iowa City…Revisited

At about 1:30 in the afternoon I jumped off Interstate 80 at exit 244…Dubuque Street.  Driving through Iowa City was as magical as always…until I got to the Handi-Mart.  Unfortunately, the Handi-Mart is no more.  It is now a Casey’s and it has been remodeled.  Gone are the days of ripping out the cornstalks out front and writing Lunchbox’s phone number on the counter with a Sharpie.  Goodbye Mountain Dew fountain drinks and microwaveable breakfast sandwiches.  Goodbye Neil and Sarah.

I parked my car in front of Quinton’s and walked around the ped mall.  Some things have changed – Hills Bank moved – but most of it still looks the same.  While walking around I called a few people, including MDR…left him a message.  I then headed to Atlas to sit at the bar, eat, and drink.  As my food arrived I got a call from MDR.  He said he was in the Quad Cities and didn’t have shit to do.  I told him where I was and he said, “I’m going to get gas and then I’ll see you there.”

After that phone call I sent a text message to a few people that stated…

“Just spoke to MDR.  He was in the Quad Cities.  Now en route to the IC.  Look out!!!”

My favorite responses…

BTA:  Oh no.

Barty:  Good lord.

MDR arrived at Atlas for a water or two before we headed to the Dublin Underground.  We sat in a booth, ordered a few waters, played Moondance and The Wall (disc 1) straight through, and played Trivial Pursuit.  A fine afternoon.

702 N. Dubuque St.

A little more advanced...but still the same.

 

De-Friend This Man

Readers…if you know this man, Byl, and are “friends” with him on Facebook…de-friend him immediately.  He is a friend-slut and, possibly, a sexual predator.

Trip Totals…Final Edition

2,124 miles, 6.5 tanks of gas, 3 bags of Skittles, 1 corn dog, 13 listens to “Poker Face”, 2 Mr. Mister songs, 5 cans of Red Bull, 6 hours with MDR in Iowa City, 3 beers at Atlas, 6 beers at Dublin Underground, 1 soup session at 702 N. Dubuque St., and 1 bag of beef jerky.

 

Wherever Particular People Congregate