Living at 6250 Feet: Searching for Amy Fisher

For those who remember...Searching for Amy Fisher was the name of one of the greatest mix CDs I made in college. It wasn't as good as Pickin' Cotton or The Kirk Cameron Workshop or Radio Free Europe and the Dobly Pro Logic Shuffle...but still pretty good.

Job Search

The job search has officially started. Guess what? There are no jobs.

Now, many people have tried to help me over the last few weeks and months. For all of those people, I have written this letter.

Dear Know-It-Alls,

Please stop trying to help me find a job. Just because you heard on the radio or saw on CNN how there will be lots of money for infrastructure projects, does not mean there are any jobs.

You may have also heard some jackass say, “The housing market should pick up by this summer.” While that may be true for home sales and maybe even construction, it does not mean so for design. Commercial and residential developments aren’t designed one building at a time. They are designed as a whole, usually years before construction. Just because you see some jackass putting up siding, doesn’t mean there are new engineering jobs.

Now, I’ve never really openly discussed what kind of work I used to do, so I somewhat understand the confusion that some of you may have. If you’re wondering if I’m going to explain it now…stop…I’m not going to. All I’ll say is that there are hundreds of different types of engineering jobs. Of those hundreds, I may be qualified to do two or three.

Let me dumb it down a little more. Let’s say I’m a kindergarten teacher. A teacher. A teacher who tells kids to stop putting shit in their mouths and hitting each other, but a teacher, nonetheless. Now, let’s say I’m a college physics professor. Still a teacher, but not the same. Get it?

When you read on MSN.com how there are jobs in “engineering”, stop, think back to the paragraph above, and don’t forward me the link. It would be like me sending out emails to almost everyone I know with job postings for “businessman wanted” or “office worker needed”.

There you have it folks. I appreciate the thought and effort…just please stop.

Cordially,

Hobos

As society has progressed and life has gotten a little faster, I feel we’ve overlooked a major, contributing group…the hobos. These train-hopping sons-of-bitches are the last bit of hope in this topsy-turvy world.

The hobo life is a simple one. Not burdened with families, taxes, jobs, or dental hygiene…the hobo is free to roam. From boxcar to boxcar, they travel this great land. Robbing families, eating raccoons, and knifing their competition in their sleep.

Although they give us all so much, we often alienate them and discriminate against them. Well…not all of us. There is still the hobo haven of Britt, Iowa. This charming, little hellhole of off Highway 18 is home to the annual Hobo Convention.

For more on the hobo lifestyle, click here...pretty good.

The Atlasphere

Arguably, the fiercest competition in the history of mankind.